Cozying Up to Grief: Finding Gentle Comfort in Winter
February 28th, 2025
By Deb McGarvey
Even though winter doesn’t technically start until more than midway through December, by February, lots of folks are looking hopefully toward spring. Groundhog Day, on February 2nd, supposedly tells us how long winter will last. But we know how long winter will last; kitschy rodent news coverage aside, we know that we are in this until late March, which can feel very far away.
And then there’s the movie Groundhog Day, where the main character wakes up over and over again on Groundhog Day, trying to figure out his life. Grief and loss can feel like that movie sometimes; every day, we wake up in the same story, with the same realization of what we’ve lost. We may find it confusing, disorienting, and disconcerting. It may feel like nothing makes sense, like everyone around us is oblivious to what’s happening. And it may feel like we will be stuck in this place forever, with these feelings, this confusion, struggling to make sense of our world. People may tell us that it will get better, or that it won’t last forever, but when you’re in it, that future can be incredibly hard to imagine. Grief is isolating even in the best of weather, when sunshine and blue skies make it easier to get outside, get our vitamin D, and connect with people who support and care for us. In the winter, it can feel even more so.
Whether or not you are experiencing a particular sorrow or struggle, the remainder of winter can be a reflective time; many animals hibernate in the cold months, and we humans also reach for warmth and comfort. Slowing down to engage in what nurtures and sustains us can help us through the darkest times. One way to do this is to pay attention to what’s happening in our bodies, taking a moment to notice our breathing, what we feel physically and emotionally, and what our bodies are telling us we need. Would a walk be helpful? A warm bath? Time with friends, a book, or a favorite movie? Do we need a cup of tea or something warm to eat? Taking the time to nurture ourselves can help ease some of the intense feelings we have.
While we can care for ourselves to a certain degree, we also need other people for support. If the folks in your life are struggling with how to support you, consider sending them to this website, as well as checking it out yourself: what's your grief?. There are resources here for folks who are grieving as well as those supporting someone who is grieving. You might be pleasantly surprised to find how appreciative and receptive your loved ones may be to having some guidance on how to be helpful to you.
If you’d like to share with us below, we would love to hear about supportive things that folks have said or done that you found helpful, or how you take care of yourself in hard times. Wishing you a cozy and restful remainder of winter.
